Unfortunately not five minutes after arriving home, the parrot starts hurling a string of expletives at the pastor.
After about an hour it gets to be too much, so the pastor walks up to the parrot, slaps him on the beak, and yells, “QUIT IT!” But this just makes the parrot madder and he starts swearing at the pastor in even more colorful language.
Finally the pastor has had it and says, “All right, that’s it. Grabbing a blanket, the pastor throws it over the parrot’s cage and screams, “Now, SHUT UP!” Well, this really irritates the parrot and he starts clawing and scratching at the bars of his cage. Finally the pastor removes the blanket. Immediately the parrot starts right in on the pastor again.
By this time, the pastor is so infuriated that he grabs the parrot by the throat and throws him into the freezer. Well, the parrot starts swearing and thrashing about so loudly that the pastor is considering killing the bird. Just as he’s thinking this, it gets very…very quiet.
At first the pastor just stares at the refrigerator, but then he starts to think that the parrot might be seriously injured. He becomes so worried that he runs over to the refrigerator and throws open the freezer door.
The parrot climbs out of the freezer, flaps the ice off his wings, and says, “Awfully sorry about the trouble I’ve caused you father. In the future, I’ll do my best to improve my vocabulary.”
The pastor is astounded. He can’t believe the sudden transformation that has come over the parrot. Finally the parrot turns to the pastor and says, “Um….by the way, what did the chicken do?”
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Once there was a man named Jim, who let his dog out to relieve himself late one night. He watched some TV, and then remembered to let the dog back in. When he opened the door, he was shocked at what he saw! In his dog’s mouth was his neighbor’s cat, dead! “Bad dog! BAD DOG!”, said the panicked man.
He took the cat away and looked at it. He couldn’t bring himself to tell his neighbor what happened, so he decided to clean it up and leave it on the neighbour’s porch. He took the cat into the bathroom and washed off all the blood and dirt.
It took him forever. He had to wash it four times to get it all cleaned. He brushed it’s beautiful white fur as he blow dried it, and put it’s collar back on. Since it was so dark, he snuck into the neighbor’s yard, and laid the cat down on the porch, in front of the door.
The next day, he was on his way to the car to go to work and his neighbor was outside.
“Hi,” he said. “Hi,” replied Jim, nervously. His neighbor said, “something weird happened last night.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that,” asked Jim, sweating now.
“Well, my cat died yesterday, and we buried him, and this morning he was lying on my front porch!”Best answer:Answer by PitybluesboyNothing like misbehaving pets to bring out a smile,eh?
Thanks for the laughs.
